Martha-ing

    Lately, I've been overwhelmed with trying to fix the world. 

    You know what I mean: you look around and see all the problems of this fallen world and just want to heal and fix everything: presidential elections, LGBTQ (Q? What does that even stand for?) divorce, abortion, euthanasia, hunger, faulty education, chemical-laden food....I could just keep going because the list is never ending!
    I wish Christ had not said "The poor will always be with you" (Matt. 26:11 paraphrase) because if he had just left that issue vague, maybe I would be justified in Martha-ing all the time. But he did say it. And he said it for people like me.
    As we were going through finals at the end of the school year this April and I was preparing to enter the world as a post-graduate, one of my best friends, who is a year behind me, suddenly had a break-down. It was not that unusual - we were college students at the end of a school year. But she just became overwhelmed, after encountering something online, with the evil in the world and she began to beseech me, with tears in her eyes, to go out and bring goodness to a confused and helpless world, because she did not want to leave our catholic and loving and philosophical school for the illogical, irreverent and indifferent world.  Her words triggered a feeling of helplessness in my heart and I shook my head, crying out that as much as I wanted to I could not fix it all before she graduated. Then she smiled mistily and took my hand, "You don't have to do something grand or different - you just have to be you. Be the good person that you are in a bad world, and that'll be enough. I just want to know that there is one good person in the world."
    Those words brought a sudden calm to my heart and as we hugged each other, I began to reflect. I have been reflecting since and I keep going back to her words: "Just be you." I do not need to be Martha all the time because then I will neglect that which makes me a good person: I will neglect Christ and my prayer life. I will become a worried, fretting wreck who tries to fix things that can not be fixed, and I will be incapable of bringing love to those that I encounter. Mary chose the better part because she was so full of trust and love. She remembered to nurture Christ and pamper him because she knew that He was the rare, perfect gift that makes this fallen world livable and who brings love to the poor, the broken, the dying, the angry, etc., etc., and so on until the end of time. And at the end of time we will have Christ. Not this broken world or these crumbling clay cities; not these faulty philosophies or whirling, confusing politics. We will have the King of Peace and he will bring the Love and Joy that we never can on our own. So it is our responsibility to be good people who live for Christ; and when we live such a life - saying 'yes' to Christ's call to Love Him and to love our neighbor as ourself, then He can not help but work through us. And it is in this way that the world will change.

Matthew 26:7-13New International Version (NIV)

7 a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.

8 When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked. 9 “This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.”

10 Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 11 The poor you will always have with you,[a] but you will not always have me. 12 When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial.13 Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

Luke 10:38-42New International Version (NIV)

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a]Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

A Great Gift of Grace

As I boarded my flight last Tuesday, June 7, I was very excited for the week awaiting me, but I had no actual idea of what was in store. I was on my way for the first time to Washington D.C. to attend the very first Catholic Young Women's Leadership Forum called Given. And it was a true gift.

I expected to encounter networking, information on how to start a young women's group in my area, and also to grow in my faith a little, since I knew we would have daily mass and daily adoration. I was not expecting the overflow of graces that I actually received. 

Mary is good, and knows much better than I what exactly it is that I need. So while I received some of those things (networking and info) ultimately, I grew in leaps in my faith this last week. As I flew back on Sunday, I reflected on all the peace that flooded my heart. At breakfast that morning, one of the attendees, reflecting on her experience of the week, commented that she did not feel like she was on a spiritual high that often follows a retreat. Rather, there was a deep calm that ran all through her, and could not be plunged from her heart by any depressing or difficult things that she would encounter at home. 

I agreed with her at the time, and now, after almost a week at home, I can attest to the truth of her statement. Mary knew my weakness and last week she gently exposed it to the light  and softly healed it. My ability to trust in Christ, while before was only theory and wishful hoping, has since blossomed and overflowed. I am no longer filled with fear of the future, or of my own weaknesses. 

The greatest thing that I learned at the Given Forum was not the head knowing of fact and truth, but the deep seated knowledge of God's Merciful Diving Plan for me. Just being able to rest in his plan, with all of its twists, turns, plunges, and soars, is a great grace. 

One thing that I highly recommend after this week, a practical tool that brings great benefit from just learning about it, is The Discernment of Spirits by Fr. Timothy Gallagher O.M.V. It brings the ability to tell when we are truly living in accord with God's plan, or else psyching ourselves out about not being good enough, or doing things that are good enough. But 'God does not call us to do great things, but small things with great love' (Mother Teresa, paraphrased). And when we are doing his will, no matter how small his request, we accomplish the great work that is his Divine Plan.

I can not thank all the communities of sisters enough for the great gift that they gave us in putting on the Given Conference. Thank You All.

If you would like to know more about Given, please check out these links:

http://ourmilkandhoney.com/2016/06/15/given-grateful/

http://www.givenforum.org/

http://cmswr.org/ (look under the events tab)

https://www.facebook.com/917555104997462/photos/a.917719684981004.1073741828.917555104997462/917710108315295/?type=3

I hope and pray that this event can be put on again, and more Catholic Young Women can benefit from this Great Gift of God's Love.

His Will Be Done

Do you ever feel that sometimes the devil just really wants to disuade you from a project/event/trip? That he's like a little child who knows all your buttons and decides to push every single one at once. 

That's how I've been feeling the past two days. I have the Given Conference coming up (which is an oppurtunity for young women in America to come together and plan how to ignite the world with Christ's love) and yet I am sick, and discouraged, and stressed out. None of it is really a big deal, but it's all my triggers, and they're being triggered. 

So why am I unloading all this onto you? 

Well, because there's someone else involved in all my stress, and He is the one allowing it to happen. Jesus loves me with a great love, and I always tell him He has permission to do what He likes with me. But of course I complain when He allows bad things to happen. But if He allows it to happen then there is a good reason, even if all He wants is for me to show that I trust Him. I know he wants me to go to this conference and I know I'm going. Irrelevant facts like me not having enough energy to stand right now will not stop Him from getting me there. He has a plan, and I trust in Him. 

Jesus, I trust in you.